Recycling stories in movies is standard operating procedure these days. If a story does well, for whatever reason, you usually change the details slightly, add the number “2” to the name (or, if there is already a number there, increment it), and bring it back in a couple of years. This can go on for some time. Tomorrow, for instance, we’ll be seeing the fourth incarnation of Richard Donner’s Lethal Weapon. And “James Bond” has gotten away with this for years; the recent Tomorrow Never Dies was essentially a reprise of You Only Live Twice, and Sean Connery’s curtain call in Never Say Never Again was, almost word-for-word, a replay of Thunderball.

Less common is the practice of taking a story that didn’t do well, at least financially speaking, changing the names of the characters, and trying again. This is where Small Soldiers came from: it’s essentially a Spielbergian remake of Spielberg’s Gremlins of a decade and a half ago. Gremlins, though amusing, was not particularly successful, and the first try to remake it — using the “add a number” method — was even less so. I guess Spielberg and Dreamworks hope that the third time’s the charm. I suspect that they are doomed to disappointment.

Since I’ve already told you what the story is, I guess a few spoilers won’t hurt too much. A major toy company, after being acquired by a spherical trust (“Globotech”) run by the offspring of an unholy marriage between Donald Trump and Bill Gates, prepares to release two new lines of toys: the G.I.-Joe-like “Commando Elite”, and the fearsome-looking “Gorgonites”. Unfortunately, both groups of toys, to make them more versatile at playtime, contain the new military X1000 microprocessor, which is capable of learning. The week before official release, young Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), minding his father’s toy shop, convinces a friendly delivery truck driver, Joe ⁽¹⁾, to let him have a couple of sets of these critters intended for a major toy outlet. The “toys” eventually come to life and, since the “Commando Elite” is programmed to destroy the “Gorgonites”, set out to wage their little war around and through the homes of Alan and his light-o’-love Christy Fimple (Kirsten Dunst).

The “Gremlins” movies are not, of course, the only Hollywood products that were cannibalized to produce this one. The scenes in the Abernathys’ garage, for instance, in which the Commando Elite set out to produce armored and armed attack vehicles out of spit and baling wire are straight out of The A-Team. But “Gremlins” provided most of the inspiration, right down to the scene in which a garbage disposal is used to destroy a particularly obnoxious toy (in Gremlins it was a blender).

On the other hand, there are significant differences in motivation and action, and the new versions aren’t necessarily for the better. In Gremlins the evil Gremlins were … well, evil; but the actions inspired by their evil were often more amusing than frightening (e.g. the Gremlins in the bar, smoking multiple cigarettes at one time, flashing the barmaid, and pulling out .38s and shooting each other over a card game). On the other hand, in terms of the concepts we in this country grow up with, the Commando Elite only do what they were programmed to do; but there is very little that is funny in their actions, which include the use of knives, nails and high-powered darts against the humans in the film (“Allies of the Gorgonites! Expect no mercy!”). The contrast to the Gorgonites, who were originally intended to be educational toys but have now been additionally programmed to “hide and lose”, is educational.

There are some cute features in the film, if you can catch them, particularly in the people hired to do the voices of the animatronic toys. Tommy Lee Jones is highly appropriate as “Chip Hazard”, the commander of the Commando Elite; and getting some of the original “Dirty Dozen” to do the other Commando Elite voices was inspired. Frank Langella does an excellent “Archer, Emissary of the Gorgonites”. Given that Alan has a history of trashing one school after another (a point brought out several times, but not of any particular relevance to the story of the film), the use of someone with a similar history for the voice of the Gwendy dolls (Sarah Michelle Gellar, aka “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) is interesting. “Star Trek” fans will have to look quickly to catch Robert Picardo, “The Doctor” from Voyager, in a cameo as a microprocessor designer.

All in all, if you liked Gremlins (assuming you’re old enough to remember it), you’ll probably like this film. But, I suspect, not enough to go back and see it a second time. If you’re into first-run theaters, catch it quickly; I’d bet that it will be relegated to the dollar-fifty theaters in about three weeks.